The two men of the household make pledges to give up smoking after Mike catches a cold and is left coughing because of his smoking a cigarette and that of his father-in-law smoking a pipe. It's every man for himself as whoever loses must pledge the savings they make from not smoking to their respective spouses and Mike begins enjoying his new found healthiness from giving up smoking. Alf, however, struggles and is left tempted by both Harold Wilson seen smoking a pipe on TV (a popular image that Wilson cultivated) and Rita and Else both still smoking. Then Alf has a brainwave and makes sure the rest of the household see him smoking his pipe, claiming he is being patriotic by smoking, his logic being that by smoking, he is paying extra tax to support British public services. He takes Else out to dinner on his savings from temporarily giving up smoking. For once, the tables are turned on Mike and Rita, who are both left speechless.

• Johnny Speight

• Alfie Bass
• Tony Booth
• Warren Mitchell