A picture of the Duke of Windsor, the former King Edward VIII, leads to Alf praising the former King for being "the greatest monarch the country ever had". He then goes on to claim that his father and the former King used to drink regularly at The Royal Crown pub, where he claims they were the only two who could down a yard of ale in exactly 8 and a half seconds. Else discredits the first half of the story but believes the part about Alf's father's drinking abilities. When asked how he knew this person was the real Duke of Windsor, Alf claims he can always see Royalty in breeding.

• Johnny Speight

• Alfie Bass
• Tony Booth
• Warren Mitchell