A visit by people collecting for a Vietnam War victims charity leads to a debate about war – the Vietnam, Second and First World Wars – only then resulting in Alf opening up a world map and showing his complete lack of knowledge of where Russia and even Asia is. This, naturally, is down to the Labour Government for giving away the British Empire. When questioned whether he supports the causes for all three of those wars, he claims to support the causes of the First and Second World Wars, citing his time out in the deserts of North Africa for the Second. Then a lorry parks outside, blocking the sunlight entering the Garnett living room window. An argument erupts between Alf and the lorry driver, with the lorry driver refusing to move. When he thinks no-one is looking, he lets the tyres on the lorry down, only to be overlooked by a lorry driver and a policeman. The policeman hands him a tyre pump, to which Alf reluctantly obeys. So much for the bulldog breed!

• Johnny Speight

• Alfie Bass
• Tony Booth
• Warren Mitchell